Coaching
NOT YOUR FATHER’S SON.
Between the man you came from and the man you’re becoming.
I’m still doing the work, too.
I’m Richard. I’ve spent years trying to figure out what being a man means when you stop following everybody else’s rules.
Seven years in therapy, five years running men’s groups, professional coaching training, and I still don’t have it all figured out. That’s the point.
What does Not Your Father’s Son mean to me? Becoming aware of what we inherited from our fathers, families, and culture, and deciding what we want to keep, what we want to change, and who we want to be.
I’m not here to tell you how to be a man. I’m here to help you figure out what kind of man you want to be.
This is for you if:
You’ve done a pretty good job building the life you were supposed to want, and you’re starting to wonder if you actually want it.
You have something you want to build (a business, a creative project, a different career, a different life) and you keep finding reasons not to start.
You keep making promises to yourself and breaking them. You want to become someone you can actually count on.
You’re figuring out how you want to dress, love, relate, work, and create, and some of it doesn’t fit the version of masculinity you grew up with.
You want better relationships, to communicate more clearly, listen better, set boundaries, and stop having the same fight.
You’re starting to recognize patterns you inherited from your father, your family, or the men who raised you, and you’re not sure you want to keep carrying them.
WHAT WE WORK TOWARD
Getting clearer on what you actually want, and not just what you were taught you should want.
Starting the business. Making the career change. Finishing the project. Taking the risk.
Becoming more accountable to yourself and building the follow-through to back it up.
Becoming more comfortable with how you dress, love, relate, work, create, and show up in the world.
Shifting how to handle conflict without shutting down, getting defensive, or trying to fix everything.
Building a life that feels a little more like yours.
ABOUT ME
I'm Richard Rotter. I’m an Emmy-nominated filmmaker, longtime community organizer, men’s coach, and dad to the cutest puppy ever. I’ve spent most of my life wondering if I was doing "being a man" wrong. It took me a long time to consider that some of the rules were the problem.
I’m straight. I wear nail polish and jewellery. Sometimes I wear makeup, and I often wear clothes or colours that traditionally weren’t meant for men. Not because I’m trying to make a statement about masculinity, but sometimes I feel like wearing pink pants.
The same goes for relationships. I have lived experience with ethical non-monogamy as well as monogamy, and I’m interested in helping you figure out what works for you rather than assuming there’s one right way to build a relationship.
Figuring out what I actually like, instead of what I thought a man was supposed to like, became part of a much bigger process. I’ve been learning to notice what's happening in my body before I react and name what I'm feeling. I’m getting better at listening rather than needing to fix, and I try to take accountability when I cause harm. Lately, I’ve stopped measuring my worth by how much I'm doing and learning to simply be.
That's the work I bring to coaching.
I’ve spent seven years in therapy and five years running men’s groups. I trained with Connor Beaton through his How to Work With Men program, have been coaching professionally since 2025, and I’m heading into my second year at the Gestalt Institute of Toronto.
So no, I don’t have all the answers.
But I’ve gotten pretty good at asking the questions that will help you find yours.
how we work together
Not sure what kind of support you need? You don't have to figure that out before reaching out. We'll start with a free 20-minute discovery call. Tell me what's going on, I'll ask some questions, and we'll figure out whether I'm the right person to help.
No pressure. No pitch. If I’m not the right fit, I’ll tell you.
Services & Fees
The Corner — $400/month (Founding Rate)
Four 60-minute VIRTUAL sessions a month, plus VOICE-NOTE CHECK-INS BETWEEN SESSIONS. This is the heart of my coaching practice. We meet weekly. I get to know your story, your patterns, the things you say you want, and what you keep doing instead. Some weeks we're building a plan for the business you've been talking about starting. Some weeks we're figuring out why you haven't followed through on something you said mattered. Some weeks we're working through a conflict or relationship. Some weeks we're questioning whether the life you've built is actually the one you want.
You get someone who remembers what matters, notices when you’re bullshitting yourself, celebrates when something shifts, and holds you accountable when it doesn’t.
Someone in your corner.
The Reset — $150
One 90-minute VIRTUAL Session.You don’t necessarily need months of coaching. Sometimes there’s one thing you’re stuck on: a relationship, a decision, a pattern you keep repeating, or something you’ve been avoiding.
We’ll spend 90 minutes slowing down, getting curious about what’s actually happening, and figuring out what you want to do next.
No ongoing commitment required.
The Circle — $300/person (Founding Rate)
8–10 men, weekly 90-minute in-person sessions, 8-week cohort.You can learn a lot about yourself one-on-one, but there’s something different about hearing another man describe himself and realizing: Oh shit. I do that too.
The Circle is an eight-week men's group built around honest conversation, curiosity, and accountability, with other men there to challenge you, support you, and occasionally call you on your shit.
You don’t need to arrive knowing how to “do men’s work.” You just need to be willing to show up.
The Field Trip — $150 per hour
In-person, 2-hour minimum. Toronto / GTA.The activity is the setting. The coaching is still the work. Maybe you've wanted to get your nails done but can't quite bring yourself to walk through the door. Maybe you want to experiment with how you dress, or try something you've been talking yourself out of. We experience something together while also doing a session.
Sometimes it's easier to take the first step with someone beside you. That's what the Field Trip is for.
Activity costs are separate.
Not sure which one's right for you? Let’s get on a Discovery Call and figure it out together.
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No. I’m a coach, not a licensed therapist, and I don’t diagnose or treat mental illness.
Coaching gives us a different kind of relationship. We can look at what’s happening in your life right now, notice the patterns getting in your way, experiment with doing things differently, and hold you accountable to the changes you say you want to make.
Some of my clients are also in therapy. Some have done therapy before. Some have no interest in it.
They can complement each other, but they aren’t interchangeable.
If something comes up that’s outside what coaching can responsibly hold, I’ll tell you, and help you find the right kind of support.
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Men who are curious about themselves, willing to be challenged, and ready to take some responsibility for what happens next.
I work with men and nonbinary people, straight, queer, trans; monogamous, polyamorous, or figuring it out, who want to understand themselves better and make some changes in how they’re living.
You don’t need to be in crisis. You don’t need to have it all figured out.
You just need to know you want something to change.
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Maybe!
Your partner might be absolutely right. (Annoying, I know.)
But coaching only really works if you want to be here.
Book a discovery call. You don’t have to know exactly what you want to work on. We can start with what your partner keeps bringing up and see what you think is going on.
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Depends on what you bring in.
Maybe you’re trying to start a new project, make a big decision, change a pattern, switch careers, have a conversation you’ve been avoiding, or you know something in your life needs to change, but you’re not sure what yet.
We start there.
I’ll ask questions, challenge some of your assumptions, and help you get clearer on what you actually want. We’ll pay attention to what keeps getting in the way, whether that’s fear, an old pattern, someone else’s expectations, or your own bullshit.
Then we figure out what you’re going to do about it.
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Yes. What you share with me is treated as confidential. I won’t share it without your permission, except where required by law or where I believe there’s a serious risk of harm to you or someone else. We’ll go over exactly what that means before we start working together.
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I ask for at least 24 hours' notice to reschedule or cancel a session. Less than that, and the session is still charged — I hold that time for you specifically.
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Payment is by e-transfer.
Coaching generally isn't covered by extended health insurance in Canada, but check your individual plan if you're unsure. I'll provide a receipt for every payment.
A CLIENT’S EXPERIENCE
“I had an incredible experience working with Richard. First, because he is a warm, attentive, and insightful person. Second, his mix of styles - goal setting and talking through challenges, to taking me out to try on new clothing styles and new experiences - was engaging and fun. If you're looking for someone to work with you through a life hurdle, and who will show positive examples of empathy, relatability, and vulnerability, Richard is the one.”
- Ryan R.
YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE WORKING ON.
You don’t need the right language. You don’t need to have hit rock bottom.
You don’t even need to know whether coaching is what you need.
You just need somewhere to start.
We’ll talk. I’ll listen. We’ll figure out the rest from there.